


A Series of Dustinate Events

by homicidalbrunette



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, F/M, Gen, as told from Dustin's POV, in this fic troy and james are 1 year older than the Party so thats why troy drives a car, minor lumax, my own version of how season 3 might go down, set during the summer of 1985, this is a dustin centric fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-03-13 12:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18941161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homicidalbrunette/pseuds/homicidalbrunette
Summary: Summer 1985. Big paranormal things are afoot. While his friends are off battling monsters or going on dates, Dustin Henderson is left feeling a little useless. That is, until he finds himself a car, and somehow a date with Snowball Stacey. While Stacey ropes our hapless hero into helping her and the bullies Troy and James in dastardly mischief, things are gettingstrangereverywhere else in Hawkins, and Dustin's friends seem freaked. Will he be able to lose the mouthbreathers and help the Party, or will Dustin just be another one that bites the dust? COMPLETE





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In anticipation of season 3, finally uploading this to ao3. This fic doesn't take itself too seriously. 
> 
> Trigger warning for use of the r-word slur by one of the antagonists (i mean, he IS a sociopath, so..) Written in a basic script-style format. HEAVILY inspired by the BtVS episode “The Zeppo.” Title credit goes to the all-around amazing Alice!

The Upside Down-connected, vine-infested tunnels from season 2. LUCAS, MAX, MIKE, and WILL are setting fire to a bundle of hissing vines with make-shift torches, while STEVE, HOPPER and EL form a barrier around them, fending off three demodogs who are trying to attack. Steve has his nail bat, Hopper has a rifle, and El is using her powers.

Mike: We got it!

Max: They’re all burning!

Hop, nodding: Alright, everyone back up! Now!

The kids start to climb up the rope that’s dangling from an opening leading out of the tunnels.

Lucas: But what about Dustin?

Pan to Dustin. He’s lying on the floor, unconscious. There’s no blood or anything so he’s not seriously injured, just out of it.

Hop: I’ll get him up. Now go, go, go!

El, Steve, and Hop finish off the last of the demodogs and begin climbing up the rope as the tunnel fire spreads. Hop hoists Dustin over his shoulder and is the last to climb up to safety.

ABOVE GROUND. Everyone’s kind of processing what just happened, looking worried.

Steve: I think that’s the last of them.

Lucas: That’s what you said last time.

Max: I didn’t think there’d still be any around after El closed the Gate –

Hopper: Look, they’re just leftovers. Once we get the last of ‘em, this whole nightmare will be over once and for all.

El, quietly: But there’s been  _more_  of them lately, not less….

Suddenly, Dustin starts to cough. He’s awake, sitting up and clutching at his head painfully.

Will: Dustin! Are you okay?

Dustin: I’m fine! Just a bit of a headache….Did we get em, guys?

Will: You don’t look fine….

Dustin: Hey, it wasn’t my fault that that a demodog knocked me into a rock! Becoming unconscious was totally involuntary on my part!

Hopper: Yeah, and you know what else is now involuntary on your part? You going down to the tunnels. You are officially axed from any and all tunnel-related activities.  

Dustin: B-but sir, that’s not fair!

Hopper: Not a negotiation, kid.

Mike: It’s fine, Dustin, it’s not like we’ll need to be doing a whole lot more of these sweeps anyway, right?

Steve: Yeah, there’s only so many of them left now that the Gate’s closed. It’s only a matter of time before we get them all.

They all start heading back to Hopper’s and Steve’s cars. Everyone seems to be in agreement of Mike and Steve’s assessment of the situation and the conversation shifts to the kids excitedly discussing their summer plans.

Dustin: Steve, I’m  _so_  in support of your new summer job! In fact, I’ll be at Scoops every day, supporting you….

Steve: You mean eating me out of my paycheck –

The chatter drifts into the background. The only ones who are quiet are El and Will. They exchange worried looks as the screen fades to black.

End scene.   

SCHOOL QUAD. The last day of school, summer of 1985. Dustin is walking through the Quad, on his way over to where the rest of The Party are sitting in a grassy area in the distance. He walks past a couple of boys throwing a football back and forth, and then happens to make eye contact with STACEY, the girl who rejected him at the Snowball. She is sitting nearby with her girlfriends near the boys throwing the football around. Dustin decides, this may be his chance. She seemed impressed when she saw him dancing with Nancy, maybe she’d be impressed if he joined in on this game of toss, too?

Dustin: Hey! Bobby! Over here!

The boys ignore him.

Dustin: Corey, my dude, I’m open!

He waves his hand around, trying desperately to get their attention. This stunt is starting to backfire on him…when –

Dustin: Ah, shit!

Bobby tosses the ball directly into Dustin’s face. It smacks him in the cheek and then bounces right into the lap of none other than TROY. Season 1 bully “make-Mike-jump-off-a-cliff” Troy.

Dustin, to Troy: Shit….uh, sorry, Troy. 

Troy just scowls at him.

Troy: What are you, retarded?

Dustin: No…I mean, I had to take a test when I was seven, but it turns out, I’m slow socially not….you know what? I’m starting to sound like an ass so I’m just gonna leave now.

Dustin starts to walk away but Troy just keeps yelling after him, as mean as ever.

Troy: You better watch it Henderson! One day you’re not gonna have that freak of a girl around to protect you and I’m gonna kick your ass til it’s a brand new shape!

Dustin finally makes his way to where the rest of the Party are sitting. They’ve all noticed Troy yelling at him. 

Max: Boy, of all the humiliations of yours I’ve witnessed, that was the…..latest.

Dustin: I could’ve taken him.

El, just being honest: I don’t think you could have, Dustin.

Dustin, feeling a little shaken and frustrated but trying to not let it show: Why is that I’ve come face to face with unspeakable horrors from another dimension and I’m still afraid of a jackass like Troy?

Lucas: Because unlike all those other creatures from the Upside Down, Troy actually noticed you were there?

Lucas is joking in his usual salty way, but its hitting Dustin harder in the feels this time.

Dustin: Why am I not surprised by how comforting you’re not? Besides, its not like any of YOU guys could take on Troy, besides like El and, let’s face it, Max.

Lucas looks proud: She  _did_  single-handedly knock Billy out. Steve couldn’t even manage that!

Mike, equally proud: Yeah, and El broke Troy’s arm last time.

Will: Yeah, El and Max are way too cool for the Party.

Dustin: See, that’s what I mean! Cool. They’re cool. But what does that even  _mean_? A-and how do you become it? What IS the essence of cool?

Max: You can’t just define it like a science project, Dustin. It’s way subjective.

Dustin: That’s easy for you to say! You, Max, are cool. You have IT, the cool. Mad Max, Dig Dug, skateboarding, kicking Billy’s ass.

Max just rolls her eyes, but Dustin continues, oblivious.

Dustin: And you, El, are also super cool. She’s like basically an X-Man!

El, confused: X-man?

Dustin goes on, on a roll: And even Mike and Lucas are cool, by extension, because they’re dating them! We’re not even in high school yet and they already have girlfriends, which automatically makes them just a little bit cool.

Dustin: And Will, you survived the Upside Down,  _twice_ , which is not only cool, but super badass.

Dustin: Everyone here has a thing that makes them cool. But me? What about me?

He looks around but no one says anything.

El, feeling bad: You have nice hats.

Dustin: UGH. See?

Max: I know what you have, Henderson! An exciting new obsession, which I feel makes you very special.

Dustin, stubbornly: Mock all you want  _Maxine_. That’s fine, ‘cause I know I’m on the right track about this. You just need a thing, one nobody else has. I just need to find my thing.

Will: Honestly, Dustin, I just feel like you’re kind of overthinking it. You’re just feeling a little insecure because of the Troy thing today, but its not –

Cut to HOPPER’S office.

Dr. Owens: -- The end of the world.

Dr. Owens is sitting across from Hopper’s desk. The door is closed and the blinds are shut. They are having an intense and serious discussion.

Hopper: Can they do it?

Dr. Owens: From what my intel is telling me, they seem very committed to it.

Hopper: Is that why they’re back here? In Hawkins?

Dr. Owens: We think so. They’re back up and running, though they’ve gone underground and rogue. There are even rumblings that Brenner is back.

Hopper: This isn’t good, doc.

Dr. Owens: And it gets worse.

A beat. MKUltra is back up and running and Brenner, far from being dead, is back at the helm. El is in danger again. How could it possibly be worse?

Dr. Owens: Those juvenile “demogorgen” creatures you think are just leftovers from before? They’re not. MKUltra have been working on bringing those guys, and worse, back into our world. (a beat) They’re going to re-open the Gate.

End scene.

The next day. Lucas, Max, Mike and El are walking home from a double date at the mall together.

Lucas: And if it opens?

El: Remember the night that I closed the Gate? And I fainted and Hop had to carry me back?

Mike: Are you kidding? Every nightmare I have that doesn’t involve academic failure or public speaking is about that night. All those demodogs ripping into Bob, thinking you were hurt o-or  _killed_ –

El: They’ll be the first to come out. The demodogs. But Hop said there would be others. The Mindflayer, the one that got into Will, h-he said it’d come out too…

Max: Well, we have to stop it.

Lucas: Do we know when this is supposed to happen?

El: Soon.

Mike: At the lab?

El shakes her head.

El: I-I don’t know. Hop said Dr. Owens talked about a new place, one we don’t know about yet.

There’s a moment of silence as the four of them take in this information, solemn and somber.

El: There’s….there’s something about this that’s… different. It  _scares_  me.

Mike, going into protective mode: It’ll be okay, El. We’ll stop it, we always do. You don’t have to be afraid.

Someone HONKS a horn loudly behind them, SCARING them. They all jump, yelping. They turn to glare daggers at the culprit, but their irritation soon turns to bewilderment. It’s Dustin. In an old beat up car that’s seen better days, but he’s actually the one  _driving_  it.

Dustin is smiling and oblivious. He’s just excited he’s driving his own car.

Dustin, tipping his baseball cap at them: Need a lift?

He parks it right next to the four of them, basking in his assumed coolness.

Mike: No way,  _no way_  –

Lucas: What IS that?

Dustin: What do you mean, what is it? It’s my  _thing_!

El: Your thing?

Dustin: My thing!

Max: Is this a penis metaphor?

Dustin: What? NO! It’s my thing that makes me cool! A car! I have a car! I’m driver guy now!

Max: Oh my God –

Lucas: How are you able to drive –

Mike: Where did you even get this piece of junk –

Dustin: Hey, hey, hey! I see all of you save El are already insanely jealous that I, Dustin Henderson, am the very first to get my learner’s permit! This happens to be a hand me down from my Uncle Joe, she’s not the best looking thing on the block, but this baby runs smooth –

The car backfires. El and Lucas yelp again. Dustin cringes a little, but continues on.

Dustin: The point is, she runs. And I have a car! No more biking around like a little kid for me.  

El, trying to be nice: It’s nice. Congratulations, Dustin.

Dustin: Thank you, El. At least SOMEONE is able to get past their insane amount of jealousy to be happy for me.

Mike, Lucas, and Max give him half-hearted congrats. They’re all still in a somber mood though, thinking about the Gate being re-opened. Dustin finally notices.

Dustin: Okay, who died?

Off their continued somber expressions –

Dustin, serious: Oh my God, who died?

Mike: Nobody. Nobody has died.

Max: At least, not yet.

Dustin: What?

Lucas: Another threat from the Upside Down. (trying not to upset the others more) You know, the usual.

El, also trying to put on a brave front: I can handle it.

Dustin, taking it all at face value: We’ll handle it together! You know I’m here for you, El. Just tell me what I need to do. Research another inter-dimensional being? Tame and trap a ruthless creature of the Upside Down? Provide strategic back-up in hand-to-hand combat? Anything you need, El, I’m your guy.

Cut to STARCOURT MALL. Donut shop.

Dustin: Yeah, can I get six of the glazed, two chocolates, and four of the jellie-filled ones.

Dustin sighs.

Dustin: They could at least have asked me to make a Scoops run. Can’t believe I still haven’t gotten a chance to eat there yet.

The employee finishes placing his donuts in a box and hands it to Dustin, who pays. He walks out the store and sees SCOOPS directly across the food court.

Dustin, to himself: You know what? Why not?

He makes a beeline to Scoops. The lights are on inside but when he goes to open the glass doors, they’re locked.

Dustin, banging on the doors: Steve! Hey, Steve! It’s Dustin! Let me in!

He continues yelling for a minute. After awhile Steve comes to the doors, dressed in a hideous sailor’s costume complete with a bow and short shorts. Steve looks irritated as hell.

Steve: HEY! We’re closed for the day, jackass.

Dustin looks him over. He makes a snorting noise.

Dustin: Oh my God….what are you wearing?

Steve: Yeah, yeah. Take a picture, it’ll last longer. Now are you done, huh? ‘Cause I gotta go prep for closing, dipshit.

Dustin: May I come in and sample the wares while you close?

Steve: No.

Dustin: But Steve –

Steve: What part of no don’t you understand Henderson? Come back tomorrow when we’re open and if you’re lucky, I might give you a discount on some of the less popular flavors. Now beat it.

Steve doesn’t wait for him to reply. He shuts the doors on Dustin again and heads out towards the back of the store.

Dustin, calling after him: DISCOUNT? You said I’d get free ice cream! It’s cruel to lie to someone like that, Steve! 

Dustin shakes his head and leaves the mall, accepting defeat for the day.

Dustin: So grouchy. Didn’t even get to tell him about Amelia.

He’s in the parking lot now, approaching Amelia. His car. He goes to open the backseat and sets the box of donuts there. He shuts the back doors and turns around to open the driver’s seat when –

Stacey: Is that your car?

STACEY has just left the mall, her arms full of shopping bags. She is staring at Dustin as he is about to get in the driver’s seat. She’s clearly impressed.

Dustin, his chest puffing up a little: Stacey! Why….yes….yes she is, actually.

Stacey: Wow. I didn’t know you could drive….

Dustin: Oh yeah, totally. Learner’s permit, but you know, I’m like  _thisclose_  to getting the license –

Stacey: I thought you had to be at least 15 to qualify for a license…

Dustin, lying: Oh yeah, but I have connections, you know. (he winks) At the DMV.

Stacey is impressed. There’s a beat as she just stares at him, expectantly.

Dustin, taking the hint: Oh uh, can I….give you a lift home?

Its what Stacey was expecting him to ask, apparently. She doesn’t say anything, just throws her stuff in the backseat next to the donuts and hops in the car with him. Dustin can’t believe it. This is actually happening. He’s in a car, HIS car, driving Stacey home. He scrambles into the driver’s seat, excited and distracted as hell, and starts backing out.

CRUNCH.

The car lurches. It’s hit something. A big something. Big uh oh.

Dustin is a little stunned. It’s just a little fender bender and they haven’t even left the parking lot yet, but this is NOT the way to impress Stacey. He gets out the car to inspect the damage.

Dustin, more to himself than anyone else: Alright. Okay. Stay calm. It’s just a little fender bender, no need to panic, it’s not –

The door of the other car opens. It’s TROY. Looking hellbent on fulfilling his promise to kick Dustin’s ass into a new shape.

Dustin, squeaky voiced: -- the end of the world.


	2. Chapter 2

Dustin: Troy….You okay? I didn’t see you there. Your car really came out of nowhere.

Troy: I was parked.

Dustin, changing the subject: Listen, I can cover the damages. I don’t have what you could call insurance, but…. (changing the subject again) The important thing is, we’re all okay. I’m okay, you’re okay, and we can work this out like two reasonable….

Troy takes out a switchblade.

Dustin: …serial killers.

Troy, waving the switchblade: Where do you want it?

Dustin: I’m fairly certain I don’t want it at all, thank you!  

Stacey has gotten out of the car and now offers the helpful observation:

Stacey: Cool knife, ‘cuz.

Dustin, doing a double take: Stacey, you and Troy are cousins?

Stacey: Yeah. It’s a small town, Dustin.

Troy: I call her Katie.

Dustin, confused: Why would you call Stacey Katie?

Troy: THE KNIFE you idiot!

Troy comes closer with the knife; Dustin backs up.

Troy: You scared?

Dustin, honestly: Yes!

Troy suddenly lunges at Dustin, grabbing his collar and placing the switchblade up against his cheek.

Troy: Feel familiar, toothless? I never did get to give you that free trip to the dentist, did I?

Dustin: Familiar? Actually, I mostly just feel Katie right now. 

Troy: You know what the difference is between you and me?

Dustin: Again, Katie is springing to mind.

Troy: Fear. Who has the least fear.

Dustin: Sure, and also who has the big, sharp knife –

Mall security guard: What’s going on?

Troy and Dustin spring apart. Troy quickly retracts his switchblade and shoves it behind his back.

Troy: Nothing.

Guard: Troy Harris. What a surprise. (to Dustin) He attack you?

Stacey, speaking up for the first time: He didn’t do anything wrong! Right Dustin?

A beat. Dustin makes eye contact with Stacey. Its clear she doesn’t want him to get her cousin in trouble. Troy looks nervous. Will Dustin rat him out after all?

Stacey: _Right_ , Dustin?

Dustin looks at the guard, then Stacey, then back at the Guard.

Dustin: Um….yeah. Right. Just a little fender bender, that’s all. We’ve just been uh….exchanging insurance information.

The guard looks skeptical for a moment, but then it passes and he shrugs. Whatever. He heads off.

Stacey: Thanks for not snitching, Dustin.

Troy doesn’t say anything, but he does put his switchblade away.

Stacey: God, Troy, could you at least try to be a little grateful? Aunt Helen’s like this close to sending you to military school, and then who am I gonna get rides from all summer?

Troy, nodding to Dustin: Looks like from him, probably. (getting into his car) You get a free pass this time, Henderson. Be seein’ ya.

Troy drives off.

Dustin lets out a big breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. That actually worked out. Troy isn’t going to kick his ass, Stacey kind of stood up for him, and now here he was, about to drive her home in his own car!

Dustin, feeling emboldened: Listen uh, if you’re gonna be at the mall again tomorrow, I know a guy who can get us free ice cream at Scoops, if you know…. You wanna….meet there and….eat ice cream…together….

Stacey: Um…yeah ok. (beat) Wait. You’re gonnna drive me, right?

Dustin: Yeah, totally!

Stacey, perking up more: Okay!  

-

THE MALL food court. Next day. Stacey and Dustin’s ice cream date. Dustin can still hardly believe it. They are walking towards SCOOPS, which is actually open this time, but there’s a HUGE crowd inside, and the line is out the door and snaking around the corner. Scoops has clearly become the most popular eatery at Starcourt. 

Stacey: Ugh, look at that line! That’s going to take forever!

Dustin: But it looks like it’s moving fast! I don’t think it’ll take that long –

Stacey: I don’t even feel like ice cream. (spots something else) Oooh, I wanna smoothie! They’re supposed to be way healthier for you anyway.

Dustin: B-but –

It’s too late. She grabs Dustin’s arm and they’re off to the smoothie place.

THE SMOOTHIE SHOP. Several minutes later. Dustin and Stacey are sitting at a table with some smoothies. She’s chatting away, he looks bored beyond belief, and a little disgusted by his smoothie.

Stacey: So basically, Kendra was seeing Shawn, but Shawn was still talking to Britney, but he didn’t know that Kendra was still talking to Dan! But not the Dan with the rat tail, it was Dan, you know, with the jheri curl and it was CRAZY because we all thought Dan wasn’t ever even that into her….

Just then Dustin spots Mike making his way through the crowded food court. Dustin waves frantically at him and calls out to him like he’s a rescue ship. Mike spots them and heads over, looking concerned.

Dustin: Mike! Buddy! Friend and pal! Come join us and talk! (a shade desperate) Please.

Mike: I’m looking for El.

Dustin: I mean of course why wouldn’t you be, you’re like weirdly preoccupied with her –

Mike: This isn’t a joke, Dustin! She was supposed to meet me at the movies over an hour ago and she never showed! I tried calling the cabin and Hop told me she left to meet me and I just –– (noticing Stacey for the first time) oh, hi Stacey - I’m trying not to panic but I don’t know where she _is_ and what if something’s happened and (suddenly hitting him) are you on a DATE with Stacey?

Dustin: Hey, don’t act so shocked! You’re not the only one who can get a date, you know.

Mike shakes his head. He’s a little surprised, okay, _really_ surprised, but there’s more pressing things right now than Dustin’s love life.

Mike: Yeah, fine, whatever. Have either of you seen El at all? Did she maybe come by the food court? I was gonna go check with Steve, you know how much she likes sweets, but this just isn’t _like_ her – she would’ve let me know or, or _something_ -

Dustin: Calm down, buddy. I’m sure she just got a little lost finding the place is all, it’s a big mall and –

Mike: I-I gotta go. Gotta find her.

Dustin, eager for an excuse to end the date: I’ll help you look  –

But Mike is already off again.

Dustin, yelling after him: Mike! I said I could help….

Mike’s gone though, disappeared into the crowd of mall rats.

Stacey: Wow you really weren’t kidding when you said he was creepily preoccupied with her… Anyway. What were we talking about?

Dustin, lying: I think you were just saying that you had a great time and but had to be getting home soon….

Stacey, oblivious to the hint: What? No. Oh gosh, now I remember.

Dustin inwardly groans in anticipation of more boring dating gossip about people he doesn’t know. Instead, Stacey asks –

Stacey: I wanted to ask you a chemistry question.

Dustin is surprised but perking up again. Now science was something he didn’t mind talking about!

Dustin: Really? Well, happy to help and I’ll do my best, milady –

Stacey: How do you make a bomb?

Dustin: What?

Stacey: Oh, it’s for my little brother. His birthday. He’s really into science, you know, like you and your friends. I wanna like….make sure I get him a good chemistry kit. He’s been really into explosives lately.

Dustin: Oh. Well….okay. I mean you probably wouldn’t be able to find like a bomb-making _kit_ –

Stacey: But you could make one from scratch, right? Like, I’ve seen it in an episode of McGuyver. He just made one out of stuff from his kitchen.

Dustin: Stacey, trust me when I say you don’t want your little brother learning how to make a bomb from stuff in your kitchen….

Stacey: No, I mean, I know…. (suddenly kind of vulnerable) It’s just that…. I mean, I just want to know more about it because…I’m not _smart_ in science like you are and well… I just wanna be able to talk to my baby brother about his interests. (perkier) And right now that’s explosives!

Dustin feels bad. She wants to bond with her brother for his birthday! And not gonna lie, he feels good that Stacey called him smart and is asking for his advice. Here’s his chance to impress her with his science expertise _and_ help her out. Maybe that was his cool all along? Science? Of course it was!

Dustin: Well, when you put it like that! I’d love to help you Stacey! (takes a deep breath and goes awf) First off, it depends on what type of bomb you’re going for – because there are four basic types….

Dustin starts going off, rattling off all his science and chemistry knowledge. He’s in his zone. Not suspicious about it at all. Nope.  As far as Dustin’s concerned, Stacey has finally embarked on a curiosity voyage with him as her guide, and they’re paddling away happily.

End scene.

THE FOLLOWING DAY. Dustin’s house. Dustin is on the phone with STACEY. He can’t believe she’s calling him, but tries to play it cool. He’s not doing a very good job of it though. Point of fact, this may be his first phone call from a girl, like, ever.

Dustin: Heyy Stacey….what’s happening. What’s the haps? What is….up?

He can hear how cringey he sounds. He makes a face but keeps his voice normal.

Dustin: Pick you up? You mean like…right now?

Dustin: No, no, no, don’t call that douche Jack Sullivan! I wasn’t saying I _wasn’t_ gonna do it! I’ll, uh, shit, I’ll be right over!

STACEY’S HOUSE. Dustin pulls up in his car. Stacey is already outside, waiting for him, but so are TROY and JAMES.

Dustin, to himself: What the hell - ?

Dustin: Stacey! Hey, uh, I’m here…like I said I would be (under his breath) like the dumb idiot that I am…

Stacey gets in the car. So do Troy and James.

Dustin: Hey, Stacey…? What’s going on? Why are they here?

Troy: Didn’t she tell you, toothless? We’re gonna be joining you two lovebirds today.

Dustin looks to Stacey, a little panicked. Stacey looks sheepish.

Stacey: Sorry, Dustin. I meant to tell you over the phone. It’s just that – well, Troy’s dad noticed the dent you put in his car and took away his driving privileges, so I thought it’d only be fair if you could give them a ride too –

Dustin: A ride?? To where? I thought we were going on another date?

Troy and James make snorting noises in the back. Dustin does his best to ignore them.

Stacey, confused: A date? No. We need to go get stuff to make a birthday cake. For my brother.

Dustin, still not believing what he’s been roped into: With _Troy and James_?  

Troy: Hey, he’s my little cousin, shit-for-brains! Me and James are gonna help with the cake, isn’t that right Stacey?

Stacey: Yeah. P _lease_ , Dustin?

Dustin can’t say no to her.

Dustin: S-sure, Stacey. So….the grocery store, then?

Stacey and Troy: No!

The cousins exchange a look, and then Stacey gives Troy a small nod.

Stacey: Melvald’s.

Dustin, skeptical: Are you sure? They don’t really have a lot of baking materials there…

James: Sure they do.

Troy, smirking: You just gotta know where to look.


	3. Chapter 3

MELVALD’S GENERAL STORE. Joyce is at the cash register. She gives Dustin a little wave when she spots him coming in, but is otherwise busy ringing up customers. Dustin waves back at her but is silently relieved that she is too busy to make conversation and potentially ask him why he is hanging out with Troy and James, of all people. Stacey, Troy, and James don’t even bother acknowledging Joyce but all three immediately scatter off in various directions before Dustin even knows whats happened.

Dustin: Stacey? Hey, where’d you go?

He attempts to head off after her but quickly finds himself lost amongst the aisles, where he wanders around aimlessly for a few moments before bumping into none other than HOPPER.

Hopper: Dustin? What’re you doing here? Looking for Will?

Dustin: Oh, uh, hi Chief!

Suddenly, he spots Troy and James in the distance. They are directly behind Hopper so he doesn’t notice them, which is a very good thing, since they seem to be bickering about what items to shoplift, putting several things into their jackets and backpacks.

Dustin: I’m just….spending the day with some um…new friends. Y’know, raising some….heck. Uh, what are _you_ doing here?

Hopper, instantly defensive, his eyes darting towards Joyce at the register: Shopping.

Dustin, who is not stupid: Uh huh. (changing the subject for both of their sakes) Well, El told me that there may be some new paranormal threats afoot, and I just wanna let you know Chief, if you need my help, I’d certainly be glad to lend a hand –

Hopper: Thanks, kid. But the best thing you can do right now is keep yourself out of trouble.

As he’s saying this, Troy and James are packing more and more items into their clothing, and it doesn’t even look subtle anymore.

Dustin: Trouble? That I am definitely out of. Nope, you don’t have to worry about me, Chief!

Hopper, nodding: Good. We don’t need anything else to worry about right now.

Hopper sounds grave, serious, worried even. It doesn’t look good to Dustin. He gulps.

Dustin: Is it really that bad, sir?

Hopper, trying not to worry him: It’s not anything we can’t figure out kid. We just need a few weeks.

CUT TO THE CABIN.

El: Tonight?

El is on the phone with Will. We go back and forth between shots of El in her room at the Cabin and Will in his room at the Byers’ residence.

Will: I-I think so. I can still…. _feel_ him, sometimes. Not a lot. But sometimes I do. And when it happens, I’m never wrong. I know because _he_ knows….it’ll happen tonight. Before sunrise.

El: At the mall?

Will: Yeah.

El: I’m gonna stop him… the Mindflayer. I _promise_ , Will.

Will, ominously: Once the Gate opens, he’s going to be the least of our problems.

There’s a long moment, both Will and El processing the gravity of his words and what they mean.

Will, quietly: If I were you…I’d find Mike. Go somewhere quiet together. Someplace nice…. someplace you’d wanna spend your last night on Earth. 

END SCENE.

Dustin’s car. He’s still driving Stacey, Troy, and James around.

James: LET’S GET SOME BEERS!

Dustin, confused: For your little cousin’s birthday?

Troy: No, idiot! For US, duh!

James, mimicking Troy like a dumbass: Yeah, duh, idiot!

Dustin: But we can’t, we’re not old enough!

Troy: bUt wE cAN’t wE’rE nOt OlD eNoUGh

Stacey, rolling her eyes: Come on, Dustin. Don’t be such a buzzkill.

Troy: Yeah toothless, we got fake IDs, we’ll be fine. All we need _you_ to do is drive to the liquor store, got it?

Dustin: B-but –

Stacey: _Please,_ Dusty?

Troy: Yeah, _please Dusty_?

Dustin cringes but can’t say no to Stacey.

Dustin: S-sure, okay Stacey.

They pull up to Main Street, where Troy, James, and Stacey go off into the liquor store. Dustin, feeling anxious about the whole thing, stands outside his car nervously. Someone comes out one of the other stores on Main Street – it’s Lucas.

Lucas, noticing Dustin: Dustin! Hey man! What’re you doing here?

Dustin, paranoid: Nothing! Certainly not crime! Uh, what about you?

Lucas gives him a look but says nothing.

Lucas: Just picking up some last minute make-shift weapons for tonight. Word is, something big is going down at the Mall. Like, _tonight_ –

Dustin: And the thing that’s happening would be….?

Lucas: I can’t say. But El will need this stuff.

Lucas starts to walk away, but then comes back into frame. He gives Dustin a big hug.

Lucas: I love you, buddy.

Then he takes off, clearly in a rush to get whatever he has to El and the others.

Dustin, shook: Okay, that’s it, I’m going to –

Troy: Hey, toothless. What was that all about?

Dustin: Look, something’s come up. I helped you guys get your cake mixing things and even (whispering loudly) _your illegal booze_ (normal voice) but now I gotta be going. My friends need me.

Troy, looking at Lucas rushing away in the distance: Really? Cuz it sure doesn’t look like it. And there’s no way you can leave. We need a wheel man.

Dustin: Listen, I’m sorry, I’m just kind of busy –

Troy takes out the switch blade again.

Troy: I’m serious. You ain’t going _anywhere_ , Toothless.

Dustin: Alright, ENOUGH!

Dustin suddenly has a new attitude. It’s firm and commanding. The smile fades from Troy’s face.

Dustin: You guys had your fun. But I think you’re forgetting one thing.

A beat. We think Dustin is going to do or say something heroic, and stand up for himself. Finally. Instead, he runs away.

Troy: Hey!

James: Get him!

END SCENE. 


	4. Chapter 4

STARCOURT MALL. It’s night time now. Dustin has run all the way there, hoping to find his friends and help them with this big “battle” that’s about to go down. It’s about 6 or 7pm, so most of the stores are still open, and there’s a fair number of people milling around. He runs into the mall but quickly realizes he has no idea where to go from there, or where the rest of the Party may be.

Dustin wanders aimlessly for about 30 minutes, hoping to run into someone he knows, but no luck. Everything also seems perfectly normal and fine. Nothing apocalyptic at all. Not even a hint of it. Regular folks are out and about still shopping in the stores. And it seems like he finally lost Troy and James.

Consciously or unconsciously, he finds himself making his way back to the food court. To Scoops. It’s not as crazy crowded as it was yesterday when he was there with Stacey. There’s still a line but it isn’t snaking out the door, at least. Dustin shrugs, decides, you know what? After the night he’s had? Fuck it. He’s finally gonna get to try some Scoops, at least.

INSIDE SCOOPS AHOY. It’s semi-busy in there. There’s a couple people waiting in line, and a few other people sitting at tables, enjoying their ice cream. Dustin is just finishing up his order.

Dustin, like someone ordering booze at the bar: TRIPLE scoop, please. You heard that correctly. You don’t know the day I’ve had. Where’s Steve, by the way?

ROBIN is scooping his ice cream into a waffle cone.

Robin: You just missed him. He finished his shift like thirty minutes ago. Here’s your ice cream.

Dustin takes it from her and sits down at a table. Robin attends to the other customers in line. Dustin takes a moment to look at the big glob of ice cream. It looks soft and a little melted and there seems to be a huge amount of it. It looks good but also a little bit disgusting.

Dustin, to the ice cream: This has been a long time coming, buddy. The rest of the Party don’t know what they’re missing out on.

He licks his lips and opens his mouth wide, preparing to dive in and enjoy the ice cream. He leans in slowly, but just before he manages to take a bite, he hears - a loud groan. Not unlike a zombie groan. He looks back up, ice cream untouched.

The guy sitting at the table next to him is frothing at the mouth, his bowl of ice cream half eaten at the table. Another couple a few tables down have started mauling mindlessly at each other, their scoops of ice cream falling to the floor.

Dustin looks at the zombies, then at his ice cream, then back at the zombies, then again to his ice cream. This must be the big terrible thing that was going to happen at the Mall that the others were talking about!

Dustin: Oh my GOD! The ice cream….(starts shouting) IT’S THE ICE CREAM! DON’T EAT IT! IT’S TURNING PEOPLE INTO ZOMBIES!! 

He starts running around the store, knocking people’s ice cream out of their hands.

Customer #1: Hey, man, what the hell - !

Dustin, knocking another ice cream from someone’s hand: Don’t eat the ice cream! The ice cream is cursed!

He runs over to where Robin is serving customers and knocks the cash register over.

Dustin: IT’S CURSED ICE CREAM! EVERYONE GET OUT OF HERE!

Robin: Hey! What are you doing?!

Dustin, very serious: Robin, I need you to call Steve. Tell him that the ice cream is evil.

Robin looks confused as hell. Dustin doesn’t wait for her reply, running out into the larger Starcourt Mall.

Dustin: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod - 

He runs around the mall slapping ice cream out of random people’s hands.

Dustin: Sorry!

Dustin: I’m doing this for a GREAT reason!

Dustin: You’ll thank me later!

Dustin: I just don’t think you need the calories!

END SCENE.

Back at Main Street. Dustin is a little out of breath, having gone on an ice-cream slapping spree at the Mall. He knows he needs to get back to his car so he can drive home and try and get in touch with SOMEONE from the Party.

It’s full on night time now, and Main Street is eerily empty. The car, though, is right where he left it. And no sign of James, Troy or even Stacey. Dustin breathes a little sigh of relief, and hops back in his car.

Dustin, sitting in his car: Okay, zombies. Ice-cream eating mall zombies connected to the Upside Down. Oh man, I’m out of my league. (beat) Mike’ll know what to do!

Dustin starts the car up. He’s heading to The Cabin (cuz he figures, where the hell else would Mike “Unhealthily Preoccupied With Eleven” Wheeler be?)

Cut to The Cabin. Mike and El are in the middle of an emotional exchange. A conversation that is literally, life or death. It’s overwrought and dramatic. There might even be cheesy music playing. 

Mike (tearing up): I don’t know what to do!

El: Then let me decide for you. I can face this thing –

Mike: You can’t! I can’t lose you again!

They hold each other, both nearly in tears now.

El: Mike? …I-I love you -

Dustin clears his throat.

Startled, they both turn to see Dustin standing there awkwardly. They stare at him with tear stained faces.

Dustin: Uh, sorry I’m - I mean, there’s this…. It has to do with ice cream! And…

Dustin: You know what? I’ll ask Steve.

He hightails it out of there. Mike and El continue to stare after him, dumbfounded. A beat. Then Dustin pops back in.

Dustin: Can I help?

They just shake their heads no. 

Dustin: …. Kay.

THE BYERS RESIDENCE.

Dustin, running in the house: Steve! Your mom said you were over here and I have some HUGE news and - wait, are you guys having a big meeting or something?

STEVE, HOPPER, JOYCE, JONATHAN, NANCY, WILL, LUCAS, and MAX are all gathered around the Byers’ table, not unlike the gathering in Season 2. It looks like Dustin interrupted a deep discussion.

Dustin: Why didn’t anyone tell me -

Hopper: Kid, we’re about 2 hours from the end of Hawkins as we know it - what did you need to tell us?

Dustin: Okay, brace yourselves ladies and gentleman - are you ready?

Lucas, Max, Steve, and Hopper: JUST TELL US ALREADY!

Dustin: Okay you’ll be shocked but! – the ice cream. At Scoops. Its turning people into zombies.

Everyone just looks at Dustin. A beat.

Steve: Yeah, we know.

Everyone goes back to what they were discussing before.

Hopper: Alright, Steve, I need you and Robin to get back to Scoops. Make sure no one else gets that ice cream. Lucas and Max, you two back them up.

Steve, Lucas and Max: Got it, Chief.

Hopper: El and I will head to the Gate. Try to keep it from re-opening.

Dustin: And me, sir? What should I do?

Hopper: I need you to get me two black coffees.

Dustin: Is the coffee evil, sir?

Hopper: No, I just need the caffeine.

Dustin, saluting: Sir, yes sir.

Cut to a few minutes later.

Dustin has gotten Hopper the coffees, and now is just feeling quite restless, and useless. Everyone is busy and seems to be following some sort of game plan that he’s not aware of.

Dustin: Lucas, can I help you, buddy?

Lucas: Nah, Max and I got this, man.

Dustin: Nancy, Jonathon, Steve, do you need anything?

Nancy, Jonathon, and Steve: We’re good.

Dustin: Will?

Will just shakes his head no.

Dustin, about to go up to Hop and Joyce: (To himself) You know what? Forget it. He’s got his coffee. What else could I possibly contribute, right?

Dejectedly, Dustin goes outside and sits in his car. He looks over and notices that Troy and co. have left the stuff they shoplifted at Melvalds in his car, because they couldn’t get back inside to retrieve it once Dustin ran off. Curious, he opens one of the bags and takes a look.

The bag is full of wiring, an alarm clock, and blasting caps. It’s explosives. BOMB MAKING MATERIALS.

Dustin: Hey…..they’re not baking any cake!

But it gets worse. Just then he remembers, this is only JAMES’S bag. Troy has his backpack still on him. The realization dawns on him. Troy and James are out there somewhere, still loaded with supplies.

Dustin: Shit…shit…shit.

CUT TO STACEY’S HOUSE.  

Dustin: You didn’t tell me that they were making a BOMB!

Stacey, rolling her eyes: Take a chill pill, Dustin. It’s only like, a prank.

Dustin, holding up the bag of explosives he found: A prank? A PRANK, STACEY? These are actual bomb making materials. Take it from me – a nerd! If Troy has even half of what’s in here, he’s got enough to make a bomb that could take out most of a building!

Stacey, suddenly starting to feel uneasy about the whole thing: They told me it was just going to be a joke. Like, you know, to scare people.

Dustin: Well, I can tell you it won’t be scaring anyone, cuz they’ll all be DEAD. Stacey, I’m serious! You have to let me know where they went.

Stacey: Okay….he said he wanted to do it at the Mall. Like, put it in the basement where no one would find it. Just really freak people out, maybe get on the news -

Dustin doesn’t wait for her to finish. He’s off, dashing back into his car and gunning it for Starcourt Mall.

 


	5. Chapter 5

STARCOURT MALL. Very different than it was from just a few hours ago. It’s pure CHAOS inside now. Some people are running towards the exits, terrified and screaming. Other people are “zombified”, roaming around aimlessly and moaning, occasionally attacking other people. The electricity is off and on too, the lights flicker and bolts of electricity spark at random spots at the mall. Gunshots can be heard in the distance, and the sound of something inhuman screaming. Its completely apocalyptic.

Dustin can see in the distance a few of his friends. Steve and Robin are at SCOOPS. Steve has his nail bat out and they are battling off some zombiefied mall-goers, trying to barricade the entrance to Scoops. Up on the second floor, Hopper is leading the charge, unloading magazine clip after magazine clip on some demodogs. El and Mike are behind him, clinging to each other, looking absolutely terrified. Mike’s face looks bloody.

Dustin: Oh…shit.

Dustin looks around for a second, feeling an urge to DO something. But what? He can’t do anything, he’s not been included in any plans and he still doesn’t even know exactly WHAT is happening. All he knows is that there’s a very good chance there’s a bomb in the basement which would blow this whole place up and kill all of his friends anyway. So he makes a beeline for the basement. He finds the lock has been broken, a sure sign that Troy and James have already gotten there ahead of him.

STARCOURT MALL – BASEMENT.

It seems empty. No sign of Troy or James in sight. Very clearly across the room though – the bright LED lights of an alarm clock. It’s beeping away. THE BOMB. The countdown clock reads THREE MINUTES.

This shouldn’t be a problem. It looks like your basic house bomb. Dustin essentially told Stacey how to make this bomb, so he thinks he’s got a pretty good idea of how to disarm it. Just a simple cutting of the correct wire. Easy peasy. He’s got this. Dustin takes a step towards it.

And as soon as he does so, Troy appears from behind the boiler and steps right in between Dustin and the bomb, which is still counting down.

Troy: Fuck off, Toothless.

Dustin: I’m not leaving until that thing is disarmed.

Troy: Then I guess you’re not leaving.

CUT TO STARCOURT MALL – 2ND FLOOR. The GATE has been re-opened. We’re looking from the POV of the Mindflayer, coming out of the Gate. El and Hopper are stood right in front of it. There’s a lot of WIND and LIGHTNING flashing at them, the result of the Gate being ripped back open.

Hopper, both awed and horrified: My God….It’s grown….

CUT BACK TO THE BASEMENT.

Super contrast to the scene before. No noise, no spectacle. It’s quiet, just Troy and Dustin having their showdown.

Troy takes a step towards Dustin. Dustin involuntarily takes a step back.

Troy: You can’t win this one, Toothless. You never stood a chance. Go now, or I’m gonna carve you up and serve you with gravy. (He takes out his switchblade again, good ole Katie) First the eyes, then the tongue, then I’ll break every one of your fingers, one by one –

Dustin: You’re gonna do all that in 90 seconds?

That causes Troy to spin around and look at the clock, and in that moment, Dustin takes the opportunity to step forward, edging closer to the bomb.

CUT TO STARCOURT MALL – SCOOPS AHOY.

Steve and Robin are starting to get overwhelmed by the zombies breaking down their barricades. Steve is hitting them back with his nail bat, getting more and more desperate.

Steve: THE HEAD, ROBIN! GO FOR THE HEAD!!

BACK TO THE BASEMENT.

Dustin: I bet you’re thinking, can I get by him? Get up the stairs, out of the building on time? Seconds ticking away…I don’t love your chances, asshole.

Troy: You’ll die too.

Dustin: Yeah, I guess so. (beat) So I guess the question really is….who has less fear?

BACK TO STARCOURT MALL – 2ND FLOOR.

Hopper has fallen back, splayed on the floor but still shooting clips into the Mindflayer.

Hopper: Now, kid, NOW!!

El steps forward, blood pouring out of her nose, ears, eyes. She puts up her hands, summoning everything she’s got –

CUT BACK TO THE BASEMENT.

It’s quiet. Dead quiet. Troy and Dustin continue their stand-off. Each one waiting for the other to crack first.

It’s Troy. But he doesn’t exactly crack. Instead, he lunges at Dustin, taking a swing at him. They grapple for a few seconds until finally – BAM!

Troy falls to the floor, totally unconscious. Dustin has knocked him out cold with a punch to the face. There’s a scattering sound and Troy’s mouth is bloodied. Dustin’s punch knocked out some teeth. Guess who’s Toothless now?  

Dustin rushes to the bomb.

Dustin: (Deep breath) Okay, concentrate, Dusty, concentrate. You know this.

Dustin: The blue goes into the alarm, the red into the detonator, which leaves the green for shutting the whole thing…..(he holds his breath, pulls out the green wire) off.

The alarm clock switches off completely. No explosion.

Dustin: I did it – I-I dismantled the bomb! I just saved everyone, I just – I JUST PUNCHED OUT TROY HARRIS! HOLY SHIT! I just punched out Troy Harris and – OW! GOD MY FUCKING HAND JESUS –

THE ARCADE – THE NEXT DAY.

Mike, Lucas, Will, Max, and El are sitting at a concession table, munching on some snacks and processing the previous night’s events. El still looks a little drained and Mike has a few band-aids over a cut on his face. The group’s conversation has the warm hush of people who have shared something extraordinary.

Lucas: But El, you’re gonna be okay?

Mike, resting his hand on El’s: She was only out for a few minutes. Longest of my life.

Max: I’ll never forget that thing’s face. It’s real face, I mean.

El, to Will: I don’t know how you managed to -- that was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen.

Will: It was the stupidest. But the world continues to turn.

Lucas: And no one’s ever gonna know how close it came to stopping. Never know what we did.

Dustin: Hey -- who’s hungry??  

Dustin suddenly appears, carrying a tray loaded with snacks. He plops down at the table next to them, seemingly oblivious yet again.

Mike: Dustin. Boy, were you lucky you weren’t at the mall last night. It was crazy.

Dustin pauses.

Dustin: Yeah….well, give me the quiet life.

He waves to someone in the distance. It’s Troy and James, who have just entered the arcade.

Dustin: Hey, Troy, how’s your head?

Troy’s eyes widen and his hand goes to his mouth. He looks…scared. Of Dustin. Wordless, he slinks back out of the arcade, James following behind him with a confused look.

Mike, Lucas, Max, El, and Will all give Dustin a look, kind of shook. Dustin just shrugs. Mr. Nonchalant.

Dustin: So, who’s up for some Dragon’s Lair? Lucas? Re-match…?

THE END.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had this ending written for awhile, but i wasn't happy with it. wanted to keep working on it, but alot of time has passed and i don't really have motivation anymore, so here it is!

**Author's Note:**

> please leave kudos or even better, comments! because i clearly need the attention


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